BALKAN KOLVA

HP: 3200
Max speed: 69.6 km/h
Acceleration: Terrible
Grip: Average
Weight: Maximum
Drive: 4WD
Seats: 2
Cargo Size: 0
Huge truck. Comes in three flavours: dump truck, concrete truck, Green Planet dump truck.

If all you want to do is drive in the middle of the road with nobody bothering you, pick up a Kolva and laugh as you push out of your sight every single puny car that comes across you. This giant of a truck is the heaviest vehicle in the game, trading meaningless stats like acceleration and handling for pure, unstoppable mass. It takes quite a while to reach top speed, but once it gets moving, the only thing capable of stopping it is another Kolva in a straight on crash - or, you know, a building.
As a tradeoff, you get increased damage from collisions, but that's not going to stop you, is it?

NOTES:

• The Green Planet dump truck version has a soundless siren that can be turned on and off with RMB, just like the Han Cellante.
• You can't jump on top of a Kolva unless you climb on another vehicle or a mid-high scenery item like a wall first. Jumping on the concrete truck version is harder than jumping on the dump truck or the Green Planet ones, as it has a higher hitbox.

Pros

• Can take lots of punishment before even catching smoke (up to 3 OSMAW rockets)
• Highest mass in-game, only thing capable of stopping it is a static object
• 100% spawn probability at fixed locations; at least one fixed spawn point per district

Cons

• Cannot be owned by players
• Very slow acceleration; takes a long time to reach max speed
• Extremely wide turn radius
• Takes increased damage from collisions
• Rare find on the road (2% spawn percentage)